Day 26: Stitches left in my mouth

Can my braces/jaw surgery journey get any worse?

I realised dr peck left out one of the stitches in my mouth. He forgot to remove. Which, I don't blame him, because it's buried deep inside, near the last tooth.

I am still swollen there, which means there is little, or no space between my cheeks and the tooth. It wasn't until I used a tooth pick to separate that area that I found something black, which I thought dirt. 

I tried to get it out and I bled which immediately reminded me that it could be stitches left behind. 

I really so hate my braces, since the start. I can't wait to get it off but I still have 1 year + to go. Sigh. 

Day 25: Oops, it popped.

Apart from all the bad things that had happened, something new and exiting occurred to me this morning. 

Just like how people normally crackes their knuckle, my jaws did the exact same thing to itself when I opened my mouth slightly this morning after I woke up.

Of cos, this gave me a huge scare. I was seriously thinking my jaw was dislodged. There was no pain, no discomfort. Instead, when I tried to open my mouth, I could fit in one finger, sideways in comfortably. Normally I could only do this SLOWLY after much practicing of stretching the jaw muscles. 

This could be a good thing right? I hope my right one cracks too cos it feels like I could open my left side more than my right. It kinda relaxes the muscles/joints as well. Amazing. 

Day 24: Bracket dropped. AGAIN.

This is it. Three brackets dropped in less than a month. I really don't get it. Did they cheat on the glue or what?!

I've been getting a lot of "I've worn braces for two years and my brackets didn't even drop once" 

Sigh. Three brackets now. The third one is on my bottom teeth. Now my bottom teeth gna move. Yay. So fun -.-

I can't go and get them bonded again because I can't open my mouth wide enough yet. Yay to crook teeth once again. Woo. 

Day 23: Another bracket dropped

What is this. Are you kidding me? I noticed another bracket gone loose. It's the second one that I noticed, and both is on my upper set of teeth.

Hopefully aloha dental doesn't charge me for these brackets. It's not like I've been eating hard food or so that causes these brackets to fall one by one. Zz 

Sigh. 

On a side note, I ate carrot cake this morning and I took about an hour to finish one whole packet by myself. Yums in the tums. 

I've a lot of cleaning up to do later! 

Day 22: Remember to take your meds!

I went back to NDC for another doctor's appointment. The routinely asked me several questions and he asked about the numbness. So I told him, not much improvement since the last visit and he was a little bit shocked.

He then asked whether I've been taking the Vitamin B that I prescribed. Hahaha obviously I didn't. I feel so guilty now, I'm going to start earning it tomorrow. I do want my senses to be back to me. 

He cleansed my wound then took some photos of me and he said "okay I'll see you in a month's time"

A month's?!?!? I've been seeing him every 2-3 days, now he wants to see me in a month's time?! :( wow I feel so sad, I'm going to miss him. 

What am I going to do with my holiday now? Rot at home while I recover? Hmm hahahha. 

I went to my dentist at aloha dental. Could have continued my ortho journey but dr loh told me to come back two weeks later since I was many able to open my mouth wide enough. I'll be in lesser pain if I could open a little wider. He told me to practice my opening my jaws and in two weeks time, try to open at least 1 and a 1/2 of my fingertips. 

Day 21: Hooray, 3rd week!

Hey hooooooo. 

I am now 3 weeks post op. Wow, three weeks. T H R E E. 

I can't believe that 3 weeks just past like that. My recovery has pretty much plateaued.

Bruising

Bruising is almost gone. You can see from the picture bellow that the bruises around my upper chest area has subsided a lot. There is only a small area of yellow bruise left at the bottom. 

The greenish-blue bruise right beside my left lip is still there. I don't see any improvement, I don't know why. Hope it'll be gone soon. 

Swelling

I am still swollen in the cheeks/chin area. I can barely notice the improvements now but I know they are going down, albeit slowly. 

Numbness

Numbness is still there on my lower lip/chin area. The pins and needles around my chin area are so much stronger now. A light brush of my hair tingles that area that causes me to shiver(?). It feels as though there is a mini 1kg weight hanging on my chin area. Feels extremely weird.

Pain

I do get occasional sharp pain on my chin area. It lasts about 1-2 seconds so it doesn't really bother me that much. The right jaw joint also hurt whenever I open my mouth a little too big. 

Diet - Eating and Drinking

I am on to semi-solid food now although I am avoiding anything that requires chewing. Sometimes when I am lazy to eat, I'll just finish one can of my ensure milk. And I can conclude, I HATE anything that is strawberry milk now. I realised that ensure tasted a little like blood and has this rusty smell? Anyone else noticed this?

Anyway, apart from drinks I've been eating well now. I don't like mash potatoes/porridge anymore, I get sick of them already. I am now into noodles, soft noodles that I can just swallow without chewing! I wonder if I will ever get indigestion for swallowing everything. 

Yesterday I ate fish and chips........ fish without the crust hahahahaha. And nacho cheese fries without the outer layer of skin. YUMSSSSSS...............

Sleeping

I am not sleeping well because my jaw moves whenever I am sleeping. I can feel it because when I bite, it is not align to my teeth. I get worried hence, I am unable to sleep in peace. What I will do is, I will sit up straight then "push" my jaws back to its original position. Yes, it worked. I CAN MOVE MY JAWS LIKE THAT. HOLY.

I am still sleeping with two pillows stacked on top on one another. I tried to nap just now with just one pillow and surprisingly my jaws didn't move for that hour. Maybe I should try it again tonight.

Breathing 

I have no problems with breathing now. Sinus hasn't came back. *flicks hair*

Talking

Well, I am still unable to pronounce properly. I am so sad. I can't wait to talk properly, my mom and sis have been laughing at the way I talk. I am learning how to stop mumbling. 

Energy/Exercise

My energy level is in proportion to the amount of food I take in. I tried doing some yoga/aerobics yesterday and I am exhausted after just 15 minutes. Well, baby steps..... 

Jaws Opening

I am also practicing my jaw muscles by opening and closing my jaws, talking and also singing. I can comfortable open one finger-width space but after some jaw exercise, I can open one finger-width sideways. 

Weight loss

My weight has been fluctuating so badly. I am gaining and losing like no one's business. One day I can be +2kg another day I can be -1.5kg then going up again to +0.8 then down to -2kg.

But yeah, you get the drill, up and down the scale. 

Skin

I am still breaking out from whatever toxins is in my body. I am also pretty oily. 

I am more hardworking when it comes to my skincare now. I use toner and moisturizer after I cleanse my face and I can see that I am LESS oily but still oily. 

Hygiene

I am now using:

• baby toothbrush
• dental water-flosser (an alternative to waterpik); this product is amazing for getting into corners that are hard to get with the tooth brush. I think this is a really good investment.
• tongue cleaner - this works really well for getting the whitish-yellow stuff off my tongue. yay.
• mouthwash (when I am not lazy)

Day 20: title?

Oh my!!! I've hit the number 2. I'm now 20 days into recovery. It seems like I just went for my op yesterday.

So far so good. I'll do a proper update tomorrow since it will be week 3. I am excited!

Stay tuned 😄😄😄😄😄

Day 19: Gonna Miss Out

Back from another doc appt. Dr Peck, as usual, said everything was healing properly. I'm also a lot less swollen now.

I asked him whether I could participate in my university's orientation camp next month as it's gna be packed with all the exciting (physical) games. Well, my bones will not be fully healed by then which means I got to give it a miss. :( 

He said I could, if I wanted but I am not allowed to be part of the games. Then what's the whole point of it right? I'm so said. Orientation camps are the ones where we'll really meet people from out course and make friends. I'm so sad now. T_T 

Jaw bones, heal faster please.

Day 18: Extremely Uncomfortable

Last night before I slept, I accidentally bang my right jaw against my pillow and it "crackled". I had a shock of my life. Thankfully it's only pillow. 

I was unable to sleep properly the whole night. Maybe I was too paranoid again, it felt as though my bite has shifted. I would feel more secured with those elastics now actually.

Hope dr peck gives me those elastics tomorrow. :(

Day 17: I ate noodles!!!

Well..... Not ate, but swallowed. HAHAHAHHA. I ate the softest Chinese noodles called "mee sua" or more commonly known as flour vermicelli.

Pretty yums even though I did not chew one bit. It's nice to have something different to swallow. 

I can now open my mouth one fingertip, sideways now. Although it takes quite a bit of practicing (opening and closing of jaws) before I can open that big. 

I do get a bit of jaw joint pains on my right side. I feel like my right jaw joints are "locked". If that even makes sense.... 

Day 16: Pictures, finally.

It's now time for me to compile my recovery photos. I guess I'll post up photos every 15 days.

I'll end up the post with a really goofy picture of me smiling....... Awkwardly. 

Day 15: Off elastics!

I'm back from dr peck once again and he removed the one and only elastic in my mouth.

Can't be too happy yet since I'll be back on these elastics once my braces journey continues with dr loh. 

Hmm.... Not much to update now. I'll prolly post some photos soon! I'm kinda lazy but I will, soon. 

Day 14: Proper Update

Happy 2 weeks post op to me!! ^^

Although they are not healing as properly as expected (with the canted upper jaw, bumps on my lower jaw and also the bracket which fell), I am quite happy with how things are going. I wouldn't mind a slightly canted jaw, but I guess I would mind the bumps although they can't be seen now. 

We'll see after the swelling goes down completely. 

I'll do a proper update on how things are for me. 

Bruising and swelling

I am still a little bit swollen, I guess most of the swelling is gone by now. The rate at which the swelling is going down is really slow now. I can barely notice a difference. I still have bruises on the area just beside my left side of my lips. The yellow-bruises on my chest area has turned green(?) although most of it is gone. I think it will go off in a couple of days. I still have no idea how come a jaw surgery can cause so much bruises on the chest area. Hahaha. 

Pain

Not much pain since I cannot feel my upper and lower jaw/gums. Just yesterday, I accidentally scratch my upper jaw and I'm like wow, I really can't feel a thing. It feels weird. I do experience a slight pain on my bottom right side of the jaw where the bumps are. It feels as if there is a line/nerve/vein whatever that line thingy is, that extends till my cheeks. That "line" there is giving me a slight pain. Probably a 1 out of 10 in terms of pain. 

Numbness

Apart from the gums/jaw. I still cannot feel my lower left lips & chin. I have regained all the feelings else where. 

My bottom left cheeks and chin tingles so badly. It feels extremely weird. Small actions like when my hair touches that area it gives a really weird tingling sensation to it. I guess the nerves are regenerating. 

Diet - Eating and Drinking

I am now on soft diet. I eat anything that doesn't require me to bite/chew. I've been taking soups, tofu, eggs (stired in in the soups), fish (mashed down), cheesecake (yums!!!), mashed potatoes, bean curds and jellies. Let me know what other soft foods there are, I'm pretty bored of eating the same food everyday.

As I mentioned before, I've graduated from syringe. I'm can using normal spoons and drink from a cup now although I drool/spill them sometimes. 

Sleeping

I can sleep for pretty long hours now. I can sleep through 9 hours. Although I wake up sometimes to go to the bathroom. This happens when you're on liquid/soft diet I guess. 

Breathing 

I no longer have mucous as compared to days just after the surgery. I can breathe pretty properly now. The good news here is, I NO LONGER HAVE SINUSES PROBLEM YAYERS. I can finally sleep in an air-conditioned room without sneezing/wheezing. This calls for a celebration. I don't remember when was the last time I sneezed. Probably before surgery *winks* all hail jaw surgery. 

Talking

I still cannot talk properly and articulate my words. I am still mumbling to get me through my day.

I guess I'm just pretty lazy because it's tiring to speak properly. Hahahahahah. Give me a couple more days/weeks perhaps. Hehe. 

Energy

I'm almost getting back all my energy already. I no longer need naps in the afternoon. I can go out for about 4 hours before I get tired. Last week, I can barely walk for an hour before I get really tired. 

Weight loss

I have lost about 3.8kg so far. Although the rate that I'm losing are slowly going down probably 0.1kg every other day. I remember last week when I weigh myself I'm losing like 0.3kg everyday.

Skin

My skin condition is really bad after the surgery. I used to have an oily-combination skin and I rarely break out. I don't usually get oily unless I step out of the house. But now, I am EXTREMELY oily around my nose and area above the lips. If I could fry an egg on my face before surgery, I can deep fry these eggs now. Ugh. 

I've been getting little bumps around my nose and the area above the lips and one of these bumps evolved into a pimple this morning. How frustrating. 

I've read up online, these are toxins that the body is eliminating. Because of the medication/general anesthesia that my body isn't used to. Liver, please do your job well and eliminate all of this. I want my clear skin back soon. Thank you. :(

That's all now. I don't think I have anything else to update. 

Day 13: Upper Jaw is Slanted :(

I'm back from visiting dr loh, addressed to him my concerns that my upper jaw could be slanted from the surgery. He used some ruler to measure and indeed they are slanted. He removed the rubber bands on my right side so it my upper right jaw will move any lower. 

Should I be happy or sad that I'm down to one rubber band. He told me to alert dr peck. Hope everything is ok. 

I asked him if it can be fixed he said, "yeah yeah" but how? I definitely do not want to go for another round of surgery. Def no. 

You can see here, my upper wires they are slanted one side. They weren't like this before surgery. My upper teeth shifted way too much because of one dropped bracket. 

Dr loh said he couldn't bond it back yet because my jaw is still weak. Gta wait now, this whole braces process gna get delayed sigh. 

Day 12: Dizzy Spells

9 am

My urine still reeks of medicine-y smell although I've already stopped taking all my medications. 

I've also noticed a slight pain on my bottom right jaw. The place where I could feel the bump which extends up till my cheeks. 

2 pm

I was on my way to meet my surgeon and I bumped into my neighbor. I tried my best to smile as wide as I could and in return I got this o.O look. Could he not recognize who I was anymore? Hm. 

I also get so much more tired now when I'm walking to the train station. Having a little headache as I'm typing this as well.  Oh, liquid diet. What have you done to me. :( 

4pm

Doc's appt went well. 

I went in the room and he greeted me with "wow, you're very pretty already....." "Well, actually not quite yet, wait for the swelling to go down completely. You're only at day 12" he later added. 

Dr peck gave the green light for me to move on from liquid to soft food. "No steak yet" he mentioned. Hahaha. 

As I was making my way to the bus stop, a really kind auntie stopped by upon seeing how "weak" I was. I was kind of dizzy and was walking at a really slow paced. She noticed me and even offered to walk to me to bus stop. "Make sure you squat down if you're not feeling well", she adviced. How nice of her? We do need more people like her! #FaithInHumanityRestored. 

Anyway dr loh is not in town today, I can only go back tomorrow to get my bracket bonded back together..

Day 11: Bracket Dropped :(

I was practicing smiling and moving my facial muscles again and I realised something....... One of my brackets came loose T_T this explains why my upper teeth moved. Sigh. Thing is, I don't even know when the bracket dropped.

I rly think it's too fast to change 'em wires but looks like I've no choice anymore, right? Oh well. 

-

I was feeling pretty curious about how the surgery was really done so I went on YouTube and typed "lefort 1". To my horror, there were a lot of videos taken and I mean real ones not those animated ones. Years back, while I was considering the surgery I watched the video for only 2 seconds and I brushed the idea away. Hahaha. No that I've completed, *pats shoulder* I am so brave!!! 

1pm

I'm feeling pins and needles around my chin area the whole day. Could be the nerves are regenerating. I have regained 100% of the feelings in my nose, cheeks and the area above the lips. 

I'm left with my bottom left lips and chin area where I still feeling pretty numbed. 

Day 10: Teeth moved.....?

I've finally reached the double digits for recovery and I can say, I've safety passed the most difficult phase of recovery. Kudos to me. Things only get better from here.

Swelling has gone down pretty steadily everyday. I no longer bleed on my right nostril whenever I sit/stand anymore which is great! I can drink like a big girl now. I've moved on from using a syringe to sippy cup to a normal cup. And from baby spoons to adult spoons. Yay. Next transition would be the tooth brush but I know it's not anytime soon since I can barely fit the baby one in my mouth yet. 

I can only still open my mouth a fingertip's size. I think I can do better than this if not for the elastics in my mouth.  

I worked my facial muscles today, tried to smile and twitch it. Feels weird since I'm still pretty numbed. After removing my stitches yesterday, I no longer feel the stings whenever I move or accidentally smile. Hahah. This made me even more curious to explore the inside of my mouth, which I did. I stretched my mouth a little and realised my elastics are strategically placed in a box of square, for both sides. How cute, I'm not sure how this is going to mouth my jaw but oh well. Never doubt the doctors. 

I've also noticed that my upper teeth started to move, in a bad way. I can now spot gaps in between my teeth again. I'm not sure why, but I guess one of the wires came loose? This kinda affected my midline. I can't tell whether they are still in lined or not.

No big deal right? Since my dentist can work with this after he removed the surgical hooks and what not. Gta alert my friendly Dr Peck about this though. I don't want my midline to be off again like pre-surgery. *prays hard*

I am now looking forward to eating human food again. I mean, normal food hehehe. Not like I've been eating dog food or what.... 

Day 9: Stitches Removed! Ouch.

9 am

Not sure if other jaw patients get this but after the surgery, I have been choking on my own saliva or sometimes while I'm drinking for god knows how many times a day. 

12pm

Removed my stitches alrdy... The bottom is bearable, not much pain as my lower gums/jaw are still pretty numbed, I can't feel much. But the top..... Holymuthafuck. I literally sweat on the dentist chair. It hurts so badly especially the front part, below the centre part of the lips. I was surprised there was only minimal bleeding... Which is a good thing, right?

Dr Peck said I can go back to Dr Loh today. And I went "today?!?!?!" "Yes, today" he smirked. Hahaha what the hell. Everything is happening so quickly. I bet I'm gna suffer more pains later...... Normally when I go back for my monthly review I feel pain when he's trying to get to the back brackets. T_T boohoo. 

Dr Peck gave me a box of "goodies" before I left to pass it to Dr Loh. That's my bite before and his hardwork. Look at all the markings + drawings there haha. The box also contained another teeth model + some splints(?) I think that's what you called it. 

4pm

Finally back at aloha dental, visited dr loh. Hahaha I scare myself he didn't change my wires today. He simply took some photos of me. Feeling so loved, the nurses there were so excited to see me. They said I looked different, yes, I agree too. ^^ 

Day 8: I brushed my teeth!!! ^^

1 am

I noticed that the major tongue + jaw + neck tighteness only occur to me in the second half of the day. Usually I'll go to bed feeling like someone is actually strangling me. Any remedy, anyone?

// it suddenly come to my realization that it could be the elastics that are causing all these soreness. But how can two little rubber bands bring one such pains. Is it even possible???

10.56 am

I looked into the mirror and I don't even recognize myself anymore. My features have changed so much. 

Anyway, I've finally finished my anti bionics. I'm so glad because this is one med that will make my gag reflex so baldy. The taste is horrendous. No more pounding and drinking yucky meds. *pats on my shoulder*

I am now back in painkillers while I try to control the number of pills I take. I do not want my body to be immune to this drug so I'll try to avoid it as much as I could. However, the soreness are not giving me any breaks..... 😒

2 pm

I can't stop torturing myself. I've been watching TLC (cooking channel) for so long. I wna eat all the good food. Yums. I'm hungry. 

3.30pm

Omg guess what!!!!! I brushed my teeth, I mean the inner side!! I am so happy I can't stop licking my teeth now. It's finally smooth again! ^^ Imagine not having to brush for so many days, the amount of plague formed up. Ugh, so gross. Before surgery, I'd brush twice, floss my teeth daily and also use the Christmas-tree looking tiny brush to go in between them to keep my oral hygiene. Imagine not having to even brush them for so many days.... It rly irks so badly. 

I tried to fit my baby toothbrush in everyday but to no avail. It wasn't until I forced my mouth open that I finally squeezed it in. After happily cleaning the inside I realised I couldn't pull my toothbrush out. Hahhaha what a joke. I spent about 5 minutes relaxing before trying to force it out. ^^ I can't rly brush the outside yet though, oh the irony. I have elastics strategically placed in my teeth. It's hard to brush them, the last thing I want is to snap them bands. But it's ok, my tongue can reach out to feel them anyway. Hahaha. At least the insides are cleaned. 

Speaking of which, I realised I couldn't feel my gums at all. They are so numbed like as if they were injected anesthesia in preparation for wisdom tooth extraction. Although I can still roughly feel the front/right side of the gums....... A bit.

New milestone everyday. I wonder what's in stall for me tomorrow. ^^

Day 7: First Poop/Worried Sick

I guess I jinxed myself when I said I'm able to sleep a good 6-7 hours straight. I woke up several times last night at 2-3 hours interval again. And despite sleeping in an air-conditioned room for the first time after the surgery, I did not sneezed at all yet. Hehehe I'm so happy, this will not happen during pre-op. Sinus, be gone. Hope I don't jinx myself this time. *fingers crossed*

Major numbness on lower jaw today which extends to the neck area. Can wait for all these to be over.

Anyway, I finally pooped after 10 days. Yes, 10 days. 

WORRIED. I noticed 3 things:

1) right nostril bone(?) is way deeper than the left's. I'm don't know how to explain but try putting your finger in, there's this soft bone thing near the side. Hope after the swelling subsides, it will not cause any unevenness in the size of my nose. My nose has already enlarged from this surgery. 😟

2) lower jaw could be pushed in way too back. I don't know if I'm being paranoid or is it because the swelling has not completely subsided but I feel that I may have lose the shape of my jawline. I'll add in a picture I found on google to better illustrate what I'm trying to say. 

The lady above has an under-developed jaw which causes her to "not have" a neck. While mine isn't that exaggerated. Like I said, I could just be too paranoid, since the swelling hasn't gone down yet. 

This is me, now. Too swollen, I can't stand it. I'm a Simpsons now btw. Look at my neck/chest area. 

3) As I feel my right jawline, I realised it's not "smooth" anymore. There are bumps nearer to the back. What is this. Did they not attach/saw my jaw properly. Or what. 

I need answers. I can't wait for Fridays appointments. On the other hand, I don't want to remove the stitches yet. 

Day 6: Back to Orthodontist

I can finally do a proper update now since I cannot really remember what had happened the past few days.

Went back to my orthodontist today and Dr Peck said that everything is well and we can removed the stitches on Friday. Woah, I'm afraid it'll hurt, but I've been through the worse already, right? My mom exposed me, she told Doc that I'm already having porridge and he said it's too soon I might infect my wound.

Sleeping: 
I finally slept for 6 hours straight. Normally I'll wake up every 2-3 hours because of the discomfort.

Swelling/Bruising:
Swelling hasn't really subsided as compared to yesterday but as expected, yellowness around neck/chest area has started showing up.

Discomfort:
Neck area still feels extremely tight, I can't breathe properly for nuts even though my mucous is almost gone. Bleeding in my nose has almost stopped as well. I just get specks of blood in my mucous but I can forsee it'll be gone in the next few days.

Numbness:
I get random tongue numbness all the time which is so frustrating. As I am typing this I feel like pulling out my tongue. I think if I walk around I'll regain some of the feeling but once I sit down/lie down, it's here again.

Numbness around the face area has subsided quite a bit, although I still cannot feel the bottom left of my face.

Diet:
- Ensure Milk
- Brands Essence
- Porridge
- Mash Potato
- Juices
- Pudding

Day 5: Pushing my Luck

After much rest, I am finally back to updating this space again.

A little disclaimer: this post was written on 10/6/14. I will try as much as possible to recall whatever that has happened. 

hehehe. I ate some porridge today. I couldn't bite so I just swallowed everything. I couldn't help it because this will help to keep my hunger level low..

I have lost a total of 3kg as of today.

I have started to regain more feelings around my upper lip area. I no longer feel weak/depressed.

Bruises are starting to show around my cheek areas. As of today, I skipped taking my pain killers as everything was tolerable. Unless I really need it.

Day 4: Depression

After much rest, I am finally back to updating this space again.

A little disclaimer: this post was written on 10/6/14. I will try as much as possible to recall whatever that has happened. 

Every day was hard for me, I would just cry over the littlest thing. It got me thinking whether I really DID want this surgery so much.

Even my ovary was being a bitch. My period came the day before and at night, I almost fainted in the toilet which I have concluded it is because of the excess blood loss I am experiencing. Imagine: not having enough food/nutrients + period + surgery + wanting to poop. Perfect combination maybe? How not to feel weak.

Neck area feels extremely tight which causes me to have some breathing difficulty.

Day 3: Mashed Potato!!!! ^^

After much rest, I am finally back to updating this space again.

A little disclaimer: this post was written on 10/6/14. I will try as much as possible to recall whatever that has happened. 

Swelling has gone down quite a bit today, yay.

My family bought KFC for dinner and I was so tempted I tried eating the mashed potato and I did it!!! Not a lot, maybe a tablespoon or less. I never liked mashed potatoes but this.... was heavenly. yums. Anything beats ensure milk, right?

Day 2: Discharged

After much rest, I am finally back to updating this space again.

A little disclaimer: this post was written on 10/6/14. I will try as much as possible to recall whatever that has happened. 

I woke up and I totally couldn't feel my jaws at all. For one moment, I thought it dislodged. lol wtf is wrong with me hahaahaha.

Swelling peaks today, thankfully. My face was about to explode, it was sooooo tight. I showered for the first time after the surgery, imagine the grim on me. EW. My blackheads have also doubled in size wtf, it was so gross. So thankful I could shower.

After discharged, went over to National Dental Centre to look for Dr Peck for my review. Dr Peck washed my braces/wound area, took more xrays and explained to me that everything is alright.

HOME SWEET HOME. It feels so good to be home once again.

Drinking constantly still gives me hunger pangs. sigh pie.

Day 1: Yay to Non-Shut Mouth

After much rest, I am finally back to updating this space again.

A little disclaimer: this post was written on 10/6/14. I will try as much as possible to recall whatever that has happened. 

I had my oxygen tube and urinary catheter removed in the morning. It feels weird to have this little thing inside you... it doesn't hurt and when it's gone, it's even more uncomfortable to have to walk to the washroom with so many drips on you.

Then I was pushed down to a clinic to visit one of my surgeon where he removed all the elastics in my mouth, cleaned my mouth and nostrils. He then added 2 elastics, one at each side to aid my jaws to my new bite... He also taught me how to drink through a syringe.... T_T sigh.

Took some xray, everything was alright - as planned.

Today, I felt that my tongue has no space to "roam" around as it could before my surgery. Because my lower jaw now is pushed back, it feels trapped. My nose also bled constantly whenever I sit/stand up.

Day 2 can be concluded with just sleeping and peeing and ice packing all day. Not forgetting the inevitable: swelling, numbness, discomfort, nose bleed, etc.

Day 0: Living Hell

After much rest, I am finally back to updating this space again.

A little disclaimer: this post was written on 10/6/14. I will try as much as possible to recall whatever that has happened. 

I remembered on the day of the surgery, my family came early in the morning. I guess around 6am+ I didn't really have much sleep that night. I used a lot of social media, cried a lot and also tried to sleep with all the moaning and shouting from other patients.... -_____-

So after nurses called me around 0640, I changed into my operation robe, brushed my teeth for the final time and went on to my bed to rest while waiting for the nurse to bring me over to the operating theater. You guessed it, there was a lot of sobbing on my way there and in the OT itself.

I was placed in this induction room alone whereby my friendly anesthetist inserted an IV tube in me. They were really cautious, I think there were around 6 person that asked me the exact following questions: "When was the last time you last ate and drank?" "Did you take any meds/drink anything this morning?" "Any drug allergies?" "Do you know why are you here for?"

Hmm.. So fast forward, the whole operating theater was not what I thought it would be. I guess I watched too many Hong Kong dramas.... hehehe. Anyway, there were a lot of doctors/nurses, if I am not wrong there were at least 10 people in the OT itself. I was then move to the operating table(?), IT WAS REALLY COLD. I only had a really thin piece of cloth over me. I remembered before I was knocked out, both my anesthetist was bickering with each other over which nostril should they insert the windpipe in and 2 of my surgeons were at this corner using their iPad and Phone....

The next thing I knew? A nurse woke me up asking whether I had red marks all over my chest area before the surgery. I was still sedated by the general anesthesia so I shook my head a little and was knocked out once again.

I was pushed out to a High Dependency Ward after my surgery. This is where all the nightmare begins. Holy crap, I would never want to experience this once again in my life. I woke up in tears, numbed all over my face and also blood all over my mouth. The thought of it now makes me sooooo sick, I had to constantly suck out the blood/saliva from my mouth with a suction tube that was provided, because I couldn't really swallow.

And guess what...... I puked blood SO MANY TIMES I LOST COUNT, I believe it was at least 10 times. Imagine having to puke with your mouth shut together with so many rubber bands after your jaw surgery..... *faints*

My "last" puke was a freaking combo of 4. I almost died. Literally. I puked all over me, my hair and the thing is, I feel so bad the nurses on duty that night had to clean me up so many times. I recalled crying and apologizing to them but they told me not to worry it's normal. This is insane.

I was counting down the whole night, I couldn't sleep properly at all. There were just too many tubes all over me and the bloody irritating blood pressure thingy automatically takes my blood pressure every hour. It's so frigging tight that it woke me up every time I try to fall asleep...

Overall:
Everything gets better after the first night. There was a lot of pain, numbness and you'll feel extremely uncomfortable because you wouldn't be able to express what you wna say.... You'll also not be able to breathe properly even with the oxygen tube because there are just way too much mucous and phlegm in your nose/throat. Choking on your saliva also seemed inevitable.

Nurses called me. Shit is getting real. :(

Time Check: Less than 12 hours

My family members just left me for home. I can't help it again, I cried. Wished I was made stronger. Will be in the operating theatre in 9 hours' time. 

Yep. That's where I'll be. Goodnight y'all. Doubt I can sleep anyway. 😟

4D3N chalet? - Admission Day

And the journey begins......

Well. This is my first time blogging on the phone, I'm here resting on my bed after a whole day of waiting. Waited for a whole 2 hours for my bed to be ready. 

And as usual, cried and teared several times again. Why am I so weak 😟

But one thing that pisses me off today is this (new?) doctor was suppose to draw my blood for some testing and he couldn't find my freaking veins. The thing is, he went ahead knowing he'll not succeed. It took him three tries for him to get the needle into the right position. 3 needles just for a small tube of blood. Wtf. 

Sometimes I really wonder what these doctors have been learning in medical school. If simple things like these they can't manage, how can we entrust our lives in their hands. 

Anyway, my surgeons came to visit me earlier on. They are really friendly and nice people. Altogether, I have 3 surgeons operating on me and 2 anaestatists by my side. Hope everything will go smoothly for me. Pray for me. 🙏

Dinner is served. Really bland and tasteless so I went down to get myself a better last meal. 

Fasting starts at 12mn later. No eating and drinking. ☝️

Not that strong afterall

If you asked me two days ago whether I was afraid/nervous for the surgery, I would give a firm answer of NO. I have to admit, it's slowly getting into me now, the fear of not being able to speak well, the fear of not being able to eat properly and the fear of the possible side effects.. I know it is not going to last long but I just can't help it, I over think way too much.

Today was a pretty fruitful day. I went for a lunch buffet, followed by a karaoke session and a bowling session. At night, I met my lovely girlfriends for dinner. 

Ever since last Thursday, I never spent a day not tearing/crying secretly. Initially I thought it was just my hormones being a bitch but I guess it really could be the surgery that is making me anxious. Just today, I broke down out of a sudden during the singing session. In my mind, I kept thinking when would be the next time I can start singing so crazily again. When can I ever speak properly again. 

Feeling pretty down because some people still do not appreciate or understand what I'm going through. It just makes this whole journey harder.. 

"Is this even necessary?"
Why don't you try to be me for just a day? hmm.

That aside, I'm not going to give up just yet because 1 year down the road, I wouldn't even look back on how sad I was today. I would just remember how happy I was with the results.. 

Good luck to those who will be going through the same journey as me. We're all brave warriors, fighting for ourselves. hehe.