Day 128: I'm back! 4 month post op update

Firstly, I would like to apologise for the long hiatus. I've been really busy since school has started for me. Unknowingly, time flew by soooo quickly, I'm about 4 month post op now.

It's really kinda surreal to me, it felt as if I had never gone for the surgery at all. I can barely remember anything about it now. nah just kidding, I can.. hahahaha. So just a quick update about my recovery process..

Unfortunately, I am still numbed in my lower left chin, left lip and left tongue. The numbness has improved a lot since my last update, but the thing is, I don't think I'd be able to regain the feelings completely. It is probably still early (i hope) to talk about this, but it's just a gut feeling i have, comparing to the right side of the face which I regained 100% of the feeling in about one month post op...

Oh well, I wouldn't mind it if it happens... It's really a small price to pay.. or not hahaha. I can't feel whether food got "stuck" onto my lips/chin, I don't know when I'm drooling and I'm always biting into my tongue... the left side that is. The other day I was laughing my lungs out with my friends and I drooled... without knowing. How embarrassing that is. 

I'm still on Neuroxel, the nerve regeneration medication, but I always missed the medication timing because I'm so forgetful. 

Other than numbness, I am extremely sensitive on my lower left jaw. I know right, everything bad is happening on the left side of the face. Just to clarify, this sensitivity is not the usual tingling sensation you'll feel just one month post op. I don't know how to describe it... Normally, the tingling sensation happens on the flesh on top of the jaw.. this sensitivity I'm currently experiencing is ON the jaw itself... Especially when I run my finger over or just gently touch the area, something just feels extremely weird on the jaw bone. 

Another thing I've noticed is... my sinus is back??? I think. Not sure if it's because of the haze but it seems like it's back. Even though it wasn't as bad as pre-op but still....... T_T

Oh and one last thing, the gap between my back molars and my cheeks are sooooooo little now I can't fit any tooth brush in it. Hence, my back molar is almost always filled with plague. yuck. 

I don't have anything else to update. So far so good, I've been eating normally and everything has gone back to normal... for the right side of my face, that is. 

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By the way, I've received several emails from you people out there who have questions about jaw surgery or just want somebody to regarding this matter.. Y'know I'm always out there to support you people, do feel free to email me by the chat box on the left, I'll reply you ASAP and try to answer ALL the queries you have about jaw surgery.  :) Don't worry, I don't bite.

Stay beautiful,

C. 

Day 53: First Buffet, yums.

My family head over to Buffet Town to celebrate my mom's birthday. While I am still regaining strength to chew on my food, I had almost no problems eating at all. 

I love the feeling of indulging in good foods. Yums. 

Day 51: Back on Medication - Tongue Paralysis

I went back to NDC today for a post-op appointment with dr peck. It was kind of a depressing one. 

I've always known that my tongue was numbed after surgery. But today, he used a needle-like tool to poke my tongue and apparently I couldn't feel most part of my (left) tongue. Now I am on Neuroxel for about a month, hopefully I'll regain the feelings in the tongue. 

I researched the whole afternoon and apparently tongue paralysis is uncommon. Most common form of numbness is lips/chin/cheeks. 

I don't know but I feel a little depress. Tongue paralysis affects speech too, no wonder I still couldn't pronounce most words and am constantly biting into my tongue. Sigh. Just sigh. This also affects my taste buds. No wonder... Everything just makes so much sense now. 

Numbness doesn't seem to go away either. 

Nerves, please regenerate quickly. Thank you. 

Day 50: Rebel - Defied Surgeon's Instruction

Herrow there.

Remember how my surgeon disapproved me of participating in camp activities back then? Well, just wna say I'm back from a 3D2N camp, and I survived. (Or so I thought)

Well the camp that I WAS supposed to attend was scheduled next week. So technically, attending the camp this week was even risker because my surgeon forbids me joining the next. 

Besides the fact that I couldn't open my mouth wide, I thought I felt really normal - like a human with no problems eating and chewing. So I decided to take the risk. 

First of all, I was very afraid of getting hit in the jaws. I was really cautious making sure to protect my jaws whenever we're playing games. They are my number one priority in my life right now. 

Although with my constant effort to protect them, I still feel a little mild pain on my left jaw. Near the jaw joint. The pain is similar to the feeling of attempting to yawn at day 5 post op. As long as I close my mouth fast enough, the pain will go away. 

Surprisingly, during the camp I realised I can open my mouth two fingers wide big.  I guess I talked too much and laugh a lot. And!!! Yawned a lot too. We slept between 4am - 5am every night. The slight pain is worth the 2 fingers but now, I am back to one finger + 

I also brought home a really dry throat/cough. My voice, they are so hoarse. I could be misunderstood as a tranny. Any good homemade throat remedy for me to try?? 

Day 49: Tip: Receding Gums + Yellow Teeth (BONUS!) Home Remedy

I have been experiencing receding gums after surgery and I was getting a little too paranoid that my teeth would fall off because of it.

So I went onto Google, everyone's best friend, to look for some cheap remedy and tried out TWO methods because I already have the ingredients on hand.

What you gna need:
- Coconut Oil (or any oil you have at home)
- Baking Soda

I know it's really hard to find coconut oil in Singapore's supermarket but I got mine at Mustafa. Mustafa has everything you need, a wide range of products. I went onto the milk section alone and I was amazed at the variety they offer.

These two ingredients seemed to be in most DIY ideas. I used a little bit of coconut oil on my hair too. And you can also use baking soda in baking, diy backheads/pimple, get rid of clog, etc. The possibility is endless.

#1 Coconut Oil
They call it the "oil-pulling" method. So basically all you have to do is to take 1 tablespoon (15ml) of coconut oil, don't have to be precised use however much you would as if you're using a mouthwash, swished it around your mouth for 15 - 20 mins. Yes, that long.

I tried this method only once and I already hate it. It feels really greasy and gross when you're gargling with oil. While I was swishing it around my mouth, I can feel bits of gunk inside my mouth. I did not swished it around for the full 15-20 minutes. I probably spit it out after 1 minute. ~.~ bleh.

Apparently, what this does is that it reduces the amount of bacteria in your mouth and the oil creates a "barrier" on your teeth so the bacteria/plague will not be able to stick to it. Makes sense right? It also helps to control bad breath/gingivitis.

After you're done with this, brush your teeth.

#2 Baking Soda
I personally prefer this method. Firstly, you need to mix water and baking soda until it becomes a paste.

This is how it should look like

I do not have the exact measurements since I estimate everything. The good thing about baking soda is, if you accidentally poured in too much water, let the mixture rest for around 20 seconds or lesser and the baking soda will sink to the bottom, you can then pour out the excess water.

For this method, you're supposed to take the mixture and massage your gums both outer and inner gums at the same time. But because I am unable to open my mouth wide enough to fit my finger in, I used my baby tooth brush and brushed my gums and also my teeth until I finished my baking soda paste. It tasted a little salty but you'll get used to it.

I tried this method for 2.5 days, every morning and night when I brushed my teeth and I got lazy so I stopped after that. After the first usage, I can immediately see that my teeth is whiter, I am not kidding I was like "wow, they looked so much whiter already" and this was not even the main concern. So it feels like a bonus to me. Although there wasn't any improvement in the gums even after day 2.5 so I stopped using it. Come to think about it, these are gums and they no need grow overnight.

Today, after stopping about a week I finally see a difference! My gums have grown a lot, though I still have a little receding gums. So I'm going to continue this method tonight again until they are fully grown.

What baking soda does is that it neutralises the acid that bacteria grows on, in our mouth. This is probably the cheapest method for receding gums problems.

All the best. x

Day 46: Like a Fool

Well, I have obviously neglected this space of mine pretty much. I am guilty of this but sometimes, I just have nothing to share with you guys.

At Day 46, I have already resumed my normal activities. When I met my old friends/hi-bye friends, they couldn't seem to tell a difference at all. When I met my closer friends, they mentioned I look the same while they can tell I am still a little swollen. They also pointed out that the way I speak is different, with air escaping from my slight overbite now and also I am always trying my best to pronounce words and speak properly.

I am still numbed, sigh. Yesterday I was talking and laughing with my friends and drooled without knowing. My friend laughed at me and had to point it out to me. This is so embarrassing. I feel like a fool. Thankfully, she understands because of the numbness on my face.

I can't help to think how am I gna survive next week with my school's camp. I'm sure out to embarrass myself with people I don't know.

Anyway, I am back to my normal diet. I can eat whatever I want now, as long as I can fit it into my mouth. I usually have to cut it into smaller pieces since I can only open a tad bigger than a finger's width. I'm not sure why my progress is so slow. T_T

But I am able to eat like what I've been eating pre-surgery. I can chew normally although sometimes I still bite into the left side of my tongue which I believe it's numbed. It's funny cause I always thought my tongue is my "food" while I'm eating. Sucks to have numbed tongue. With the numbed tongue, I find it a little hard to eat veggies like lettuce because it's too "thin".

I have not tried eating nuts and I don't planned to since I do not like them either. Anyway, I don't think I can. Eating has become a bliss and I am very thankful for it. I love normal foods.

Day 40: Insurance Claims

Well hi there. Today I'll talk about something besides my recovery since I'm almost running out of updates. 

Anyway, besides the braces cost, I paid absolutely nothing for my jaw surgery. Simply because I'm covered under prudential's prushield premier A medical insurance. (Sounds like some advertisement now)

Anyway, on top of that, they gave me $200 a day as a hospitalization allowance because I chose to stay in b2 ward instead of A ward which I'm entitled to. Which is pretty good actually. 

You go for a jaw surgery, you get to lose weight, get rid of sinus and other functional problems, you don't have to pay a single cent and instead, you get allowance! If I knew, I'll request for an extension for my hospitalization stay hahaha! 

Ok jokes aside, I am also covered for all the doctor's consultation before and after the surgery. Which means that whenever I go back for review/cleaning I do not need to pay as well. 

The only thing I need to pay is my braces costs. That's all.

So if you're thinking of getting a jaw surgery in singapore, make sure you get yourself covered! 

I remembered looking at sgh's letter of discharge that my condition is medical and it states "major deformity in jaw" can't remember the exact words used since I couldn't recognize it, I had to google. 

Day 39: Taste Buds

I have no idea why, after the surgery my taste buds are extremely sensitive. I used to be able to take a lot of chilli/spicy. But now, I can barely eat anything that's spicy without downing litres of water. 

I'm also more sensitive to sweet/salty food. 

The good thing is, I do not gag reflex anymore when my paracetamol pill gets stuck on my throat. I believe this is trained from all the medication I have taken through the syringe after my surgery. Haha

Day 37: Surgical hooks + Wires Removed

I went back to my dentist yesterday. He removed my surgical hooks and wires and did not replace a new wire for me. He said he wants to let the teeth settle into the "new position" first and it's his special technique not common to other dentists. 

I then went to work after the appointment. I did some waitressing and moving furniture a for around 6 hours and I was dead exhausted. I'm even experiencing some aches now. I am so weak. Boo. 

Day 35: 5 weeks update!

Wow, I am 5 weeks post op. I have been rotting at home for the past 5 weeks trying to recuperate.
So here goes my update..

Bruising
I am only left with the little small bruise beside my lip. It is going down verrrrrry slowly. Other than that, I do not have anymore visible bruise.

Swelling
My right jaw muscles are still quite swollen, I can still feel the bump. The funny thing about this swelling is it goes up and down. I feel that my face is smaller last week then it got big again. I have no idea how this exactly works. I'm pretty sure that 80% of my swelling is gone by now. 20% still resides around my cheeks and chin I guess.

Numbness
My numbness has worsen in my lower left lip and chin areas ever since last week but he has gotten slightly better. I do not actually think I have gotten better. I am prepared for permanent numbness in these two areas already, I do not mind that.

Other than that, I am still totally numb in my left jaw/gums. I cannot feel the food that I am chewing if I were to chew with my left teeth. It feels weird like as if there is a gap between my upper and lower jaw. On the other hand, I have regained feelings in my lower right jaw/gums. Just not 100%.

My upper gums are still completely numbed.

Pain
Not much pain with regards to the jaw. Since I am regaining some feelings back, I can finally feel the my braces' wires/hooks/brackets cutting into my cheeks again. Not cool. Boo. This is the only pain that is bothering me whenever I open my mouth to speak/eat. The back wires is constantly scratching my inner cheeks as if it is digging for gold. I have been putting on wax on my braces to help relieve some pain.

No more painless ulcers. T_T

Diet - Eating and Drinking
I have started chewing on normal food a few days back. I definitely do not have the strength to chew chicken/pork not to mention steaks. My main protein now has got to be fish. I tried eating rice but after he has been soaked in soup so it puffs up and softens a little.

Some other soft food I tried were pastas, fries, noodles.

Sleeping
I am unable to sleep at night, I'll go to bed around 12mn and finally fall asleep around 4-5am. This has nothing to do with my jaw but just a really bad habit of mine.

However, I do wake up in the middle of the night because of bruxism which I have talked about in my previous post.

Breathing 
Have been having a little breathing difficulty lately because of mucous buildup. I think my sinus is partially back but I am still not very sure. The mucous that I have been experiencing is extremely thick which makes it difficult for me to blow it out. Sometimes when I exert too much strength to force it out, I see remnants of blood(?) since it's dark brown in colour. Not sure whether it's related to my diet.

Talking
Speech is still a problem for me. Firstly, the pain from the braces' cuts makes me not wna speak because it hurts every time i move my jaws. Next, the 1-2mm overbite allows air to escape while I speak so I am still unable to pronounce certain words properly. It is the almost the same as if pre-op since I had a more severe underbite. Hopefully, I am able to speak properly after I go back to my dentist.

Energy
Energy level is fine IF I am not doing any strenuous activities. I tried to cycle yesterday and I felt dizzy after about 3km. I have not tried going back to work yet which I will, tomorrow but only for 4 hours. I wonder how it'll be.

Weight loss
Because I fell sick last week, I lost extra weight there which I have gained back already. Weight lost has peaked at 5.8kg last week. I have now lost a total of 5.5kg. It has been lingering around these digits so I will  not be updating about this component after today's post.

Skin
Skin condition is back to how it was pre-op. I am thankful for a less oily face..

Jaws
I can open my mouth about 1.3 fingers max now. I think I am really slow when it comes to opening my mouth. I have also been slacking on jaw exercises.

I'll be back to my resume my ortho journey, I hope dr loh will be gentle on me since I am unable to open my mouth wide enough for him yet.

Day 34: Bruxism

According to the wiki; Bruxism is the excessive grinding of the teeth and/or excessive clenching of the jaw.

Unfortunately, my sleep in disturbed several times a night because of buxism. I do not usually experience this pre-op/post-op until about a week ago?

It did not really bother me until a few days ago the frequency of it happening is higher. Does anyone of you experience this?

Initially I thought it was associated with the dreams that I had but apparently on days when I did not dream, I still have grind/clench my jaws rly tightly. 

I'll just wake up and go back to sleep with my mouth open. The damage? I'll end up with a really dry and uncomfortable throat. Bleh. And probably with a chipped tooth sooner or later. 

Day 30: Flossing is DANGEROUS

So I tried flossing my teeth for the first time after surgery. Everything went well, since I am still numbed in the gums when all of a sudden I started bleeding. Slightly.

I panicked I think the floss has gone too deep in or something and I stopped flossing. 

Quite a scare? 

No flossing for the time being! Haha. 

Day 29: finished my meds!

I finished all my vitamin b already. Hopefully they will do it's job and regenerate those nerves back quickly.

I am still pretty numbed around my lips and chin :(

One month's update coming up! Soon. 

Day 28: It's been 4 weeks!

Hi. Happy one month post op to me. I will not do the proper update today since I'm still not feeling well. I just want to laze in bed all day and do nothing.

I made a smoothie with ensure milk for my meal today. 

It has a can of strawberry ensure milk, a handful of frozen strawberry and also a splash of banana milk. 

It tasted weird. The ensure milk is still overpowering the taste. You know how sweet the milk is right? I should have added a little water in as well. 

That's all for today! 

Day 27: fell sick

Yup. As the title states....

Don't feel well at all. May I recover fast. 

Day 26: Stitches left in my mouth

Can my braces/jaw surgery journey get any worse?

I realised dr peck left out one of the stitches in my mouth. He forgot to remove. Which, I don't blame him, because it's buried deep inside, near the last tooth.

I am still swollen there, which means there is little, or no space between my cheeks and the tooth. It wasn't until I used a tooth pick to separate that area that I found something black, which I thought dirt. 

I tried to get it out and I bled which immediately reminded me that it could be stitches left behind. 

I really so hate my braces, since the start. I can't wait to get it off but I still have 1 year + to go. Sigh. 

Day 25: Oops, it popped.

Apart from all the bad things that had happened, something new and exiting occurred to me this morning. 

Just like how people normally crackes their knuckle, my jaws did the exact same thing to itself when I opened my mouth slightly this morning after I woke up.

Of cos, this gave me a huge scare. I was seriously thinking my jaw was dislodged. There was no pain, no discomfort. Instead, when I tried to open my mouth, I could fit in one finger, sideways in comfortably. Normally I could only do this SLOWLY after much practicing of stretching the jaw muscles. 

This could be a good thing right? I hope my right one cracks too cos it feels like I could open my left side more than my right. It kinda relaxes the muscles/joints as well. Amazing. 

Day 24: Bracket dropped. AGAIN.

This is it. Three brackets dropped in less than a month. I really don't get it. Did they cheat on the glue or what?!

I've been getting a lot of "I've worn braces for two years and my brackets didn't even drop once" 

Sigh. Three brackets now. The third one is on my bottom teeth. Now my bottom teeth gna move. Yay. So fun -.-

I can't go and get them bonded again because I can't open my mouth wide enough yet. Yay to crook teeth once again. Woo. 

Day 23: Another bracket dropped

What is this. Are you kidding me? I noticed another bracket gone loose. It's the second one that I noticed, and both is on my upper set of teeth.

Hopefully aloha dental doesn't charge me for these brackets. It's not like I've been eating hard food or so that causes these brackets to fall one by one. Zz 

Sigh. 

On a side note, I ate carrot cake this morning and I took about an hour to finish one whole packet by myself. Yums in the tums. 

I've a lot of cleaning up to do later! 

Day 22: Remember to take your meds!

I went back to NDC for another doctor's appointment. The routinely asked me several questions and he asked about the numbness. So I told him, not much improvement since the last visit and he was a little bit shocked.

He then asked whether I've been taking the Vitamin B that I prescribed. Hahaha obviously I didn't. I feel so guilty now, I'm going to start earning it tomorrow. I do want my senses to be back to me. 

He cleansed my wound then took some photos of me and he said "okay I'll see you in a month's time"

A month's?!?!? I've been seeing him every 2-3 days, now he wants to see me in a month's time?! :( wow I feel so sad, I'm going to miss him. 

What am I going to do with my holiday now? Rot at home while I recover? Hmm hahahha. 

I went to my dentist at aloha dental. Could have continued my ortho journey but dr loh told me to come back two weeks later since I was many able to open my mouth wide enough. I'll be in lesser pain if I could open a little wider. He told me to practice my opening my jaws and in two weeks time, try to open at least 1 and a 1/2 of my fingertips. 

Day 21: Hooray, 3rd week!

Hey hooooooo. 

I am now 3 weeks post op. Wow, three weeks. T H R E E. 

I can't believe that 3 weeks just past like that. My recovery has pretty much plateaued.

Bruising

Bruising is almost gone. You can see from the picture bellow that the bruises around my upper chest area has subsided a lot. There is only a small area of yellow bruise left at the bottom. 

The greenish-blue bruise right beside my left lip is still there. I don't see any improvement, I don't know why. Hope it'll be gone soon. 

Swelling

I am still swollen in the cheeks/chin area. I can barely notice the improvements now but I know they are going down, albeit slowly. 

Numbness

Numbness is still there on my lower lip/chin area. The pins and needles around my chin area are so much stronger now. A light brush of my hair tingles that area that causes me to shiver(?). It feels as though there is a mini 1kg weight hanging on my chin area. Feels extremely weird.

Pain

I do get occasional sharp pain on my chin area. It lasts about 1-2 seconds so it doesn't really bother me that much. The right jaw joint also hurt whenever I open my mouth a little too big. 

Diet - Eating and Drinking

I am on to semi-solid food now although I am avoiding anything that requires chewing. Sometimes when I am lazy to eat, I'll just finish one can of my ensure milk. And I can conclude, I HATE anything that is strawberry milk now. I realised that ensure tasted a little like blood and has this rusty smell? Anyone else noticed this?

Anyway, apart from drinks I've been eating well now. I don't like mash potatoes/porridge anymore, I get sick of them already. I am now into noodles, soft noodles that I can just swallow without chewing! I wonder if I will ever get indigestion for swallowing everything. 

Yesterday I ate fish and chips........ fish without the crust hahahahaha. And nacho cheese fries without the outer layer of skin. YUMSSSSSS...............

Sleeping

I am not sleeping well because my jaw moves whenever I am sleeping. I can feel it because when I bite, it is not align to my teeth. I get worried hence, I am unable to sleep in peace. What I will do is, I will sit up straight then "push" my jaws back to its original position. Yes, it worked. I CAN MOVE MY JAWS LIKE THAT. HOLY.

I am still sleeping with two pillows stacked on top on one another. I tried to nap just now with just one pillow and surprisingly my jaws didn't move for that hour. Maybe I should try it again tonight.

Breathing 

I have no problems with breathing now. Sinus hasn't came back. *flicks hair*

Talking

Well, I am still unable to pronounce properly. I am so sad. I can't wait to talk properly, my mom and sis have been laughing at the way I talk. I am learning how to stop mumbling. 

Energy/Exercise

My energy level is in proportion to the amount of food I take in. I tried doing some yoga/aerobics yesterday and I am exhausted after just 15 minutes. Well, baby steps..... 

Jaws Opening

I am also practicing my jaw muscles by opening and closing my jaws, talking and also singing. I can comfortable open one finger-width space but after some jaw exercise, I can open one finger-width sideways. 

Weight loss

My weight has been fluctuating so badly. I am gaining and losing like no one's business. One day I can be +2kg another day I can be -1.5kg then going up again to +0.8 then down to -2kg.

But yeah, you get the drill, up and down the scale. 

Skin

I am still breaking out from whatever toxins is in my body. I am also pretty oily. 

I am more hardworking when it comes to my skincare now. I use toner and moisturizer after I cleanse my face and I can see that I am LESS oily but still oily. 

Hygiene

I am now using:

• baby toothbrush
• dental water-flosser (an alternative to waterpik); this product is amazing for getting into corners that are hard to get with the tooth brush. I think this is a really good investment.
• tongue cleaner - this works really well for getting the whitish-yellow stuff off my tongue. yay.
• mouthwash (when I am not lazy)

Day 20: title?

Oh my!!! I've hit the number 2. I'm now 20 days into recovery. It seems like I just went for my op yesterday.

So far so good. I'll do a proper update tomorrow since it will be week 3. I am excited!

Stay tuned 😄😄😄😄😄

Day 19: Gonna Miss Out

Back from another doc appt. Dr Peck, as usual, said everything was healing properly. I'm also a lot less swollen now.

I asked him whether I could participate in my university's orientation camp next month as it's gna be packed with all the exciting (physical) games. Well, my bones will not be fully healed by then which means I got to give it a miss. :( 

He said I could, if I wanted but I am not allowed to be part of the games. Then what's the whole point of it right? I'm so said. Orientation camps are the ones where we'll really meet people from out course and make friends. I'm so sad now. T_T 

Jaw bones, heal faster please.

Day 18: Extremely Uncomfortable

Last night before I slept, I accidentally bang my right jaw against my pillow and it "crackled". I had a shock of my life. Thankfully it's only pillow. 

I was unable to sleep properly the whole night. Maybe I was too paranoid again, it felt as though my bite has shifted. I would feel more secured with those elastics now actually.

Hope dr peck gives me those elastics tomorrow. :(

Day 17: I ate noodles!!!

Well..... Not ate, but swallowed. HAHAHAHHA. I ate the softest Chinese noodles called "mee sua" or more commonly known as flour vermicelli.

Pretty yums even though I did not chew one bit. It's nice to have something different to swallow. 

I can now open my mouth one fingertip, sideways now. Although it takes quite a bit of practicing (opening and closing of jaws) before I can open that big. 

I do get a bit of jaw joint pains on my right side. I feel like my right jaw joints are "locked". If that even makes sense.... 

Day 16: Pictures, finally.

It's now time for me to compile my recovery photos. I guess I'll post up photos every 15 days.

I'll end up the post with a really goofy picture of me smiling....... Awkwardly. 

Day 15: Off elastics!

I'm back from dr peck once again and he removed the one and only elastic in my mouth.

Can't be too happy yet since I'll be back on these elastics once my braces journey continues with dr loh. 

Hmm.... Not much to update now. I'll prolly post some photos soon! I'm kinda lazy but I will, soon. 

Day 14: Proper Update

Happy 2 weeks post op to me!! ^^

Although they are not healing as properly as expected (with the canted upper jaw, bumps on my lower jaw and also the bracket which fell), I am quite happy with how things are going. I wouldn't mind a slightly canted jaw, but I guess I would mind the bumps although they can't be seen now. 

We'll see after the swelling goes down completely. 

I'll do a proper update on how things are for me. 

Bruising and swelling

I am still a little bit swollen, I guess most of the swelling is gone by now. The rate at which the swelling is going down is really slow now. I can barely notice a difference. I still have bruises on the area just beside my left side of my lips. The yellow-bruises on my chest area has turned green(?) although most of it is gone. I think it will go off in a couple of days. I still have no idea how come a jaw surgery can cause so much bruises on the chest area. Hahaha. 

Pain

Not much pain since I cannot feel my upper and lower jaw/gums. Just yesterday, I accidentally scratch my upper jaw and I'm like wow, I really can't feel a thing. It feels weird. I do experience a slight pain on my bottom right side of the jaw where the bumps are. It feels as if there is a line/nerve/vein whatever that line thingy is, that extends till my cheeks. That "line" there is giving me a slight pain. Probably a 1 out of 10 in terms of pain. 

Numbness

Apart from the gums/jaw. I still cannot feel my lower left lips & chin. I have regained all the feelings else where. 

My bottom left cheeks and chin tingles so badly. It feels extremely weird. Small actions like when my hair touches that area it gives a really weird tingling sensation to it. I guess the nerves are regenerating. 

Diet - Eating and Drinking

I am now on soft diet. I eat anything that doesn't require me to bite/chew. I've been taking soups, tofu, eggs (stired in in the soups), fish (mashed down), cheesecake (yums!!!), mashed potatoes, bean curds and jellies. Let me know what other soft foods there are, I'm pretty bored of eating the same food everyday.

As I mentioned before, I've graduated from syringe. I'm can using normal spoons and drink from a cup now although I drool/spill them sometimes. 

Sleeping

I can sleep for pretty long hours now. I can sleep through 9 hours. Although I wake up sometimes to go to the bathroom. This happens when you're on liquid/soft diet I guess. 

Breathing 

I no longer have mucous as compared to days just after the surgery. I can breathe pretty properly now. The good news here is, I NO LONGER HAVE SINUSES PROBLEM YAYERS. I can finally sleep in an air-conditioned room without sneezing/wheezing. This calls for a celebration. I don't remember when was the last time I sneezed. Probably before surgery *winks* all hail jaw surgery. 

Talking

I still cannot talk properly and articulate my words. I am still mumbling to get me through my day.

I guess I'm just pretty lazy because it's tiring to speak properly. Hahahahahah. Give me a couple more days/weeks perhaps. Hehe. 

Energy

I'm almost getting back all my energy already. I no longer need naps in the afternoon. I can go out for about 4 hours before I get tired. Last week, I can barely walk for an hour before I get really tired. 

Weight loss

I have lost about 3.8kg so far. Although the rate that I'm losing are slowly going down probably 0.1kg every other day. I remember last week when I weigh myself I'm losing like 0.3kg everyday.

Skin

My skin condition is really bad after the surgery. I used to have an oily-combination skin and I rarely break out. I don't usually get oily unless I step out of the house. But now, I am EXTREMELY oily around my nose and area above the lips. If I could fry an egg on my face before surgery, I can deep fry these eggs now. Ugh. 

I've been getting little bumps around my nose and the area above the lips and one of these bumps evolved into a pimple this morning. How frustrating. 

I've read up online, these are toxins that the body is eliminating. Because of the medication/general anesthesia that my body isn't used to. Liver, please do your job well and eliminate all of this. I want my clear skin back soon. Thank you. :(

That's all now. I don't think I have anything else to update. 

Day 13: Upper Jaw is Slanted :(

I'm back from visiting dr loh, addressed to him my concerns that my upper jaw could be slanted from the surgery. He used some ruler to measure and indeed they are slanted. He removed the rubber bands on my right side so it my upper right jaw will move any lower. 

Should I be happy or sad that I'm down to one rubber band. He told me to alert dr peck. Hope everything is ok. 

I asked him if it can be fixed he said, "yeah yeah" but how? I definitely do not want to go for another round of surgery. Def no. 

You can see here, my upper wires they are slanted one side. They weren't like this before surgery. My upper teeth shifted way too much because of one dropped bracket. 

Dr loh said he couldn't bond it back yet because my jaw is still weak. Gta wait now, this whole braces process gna get delayed sigh. 

Day 12: Dizzy Spells

9 am

My urine still reeks of medicine-y smell although I've already stopped taking all my medications. 

I've also noticed a slight pain on my bottom right jaw. The place where I could feel the bump which extends up till my cheeks. 

2 pm

I was on my way to meet my surgeon and I bumped into my neighbor. I tried my best to smile as wide as I could and in return I got this o.O look. Could he not recognize who I was anymore? Hm. 

I also get so much more tired now when I'm walking to the train station. Having a little headache as I'm typing this as well.  Oh, liquid diet. What have you done to me. :( 

4pm

Doc's appt went well. 

I went in the room and he greeted me with "wow, you're very pretty already....." "Well, actually not quite yet, wait for the swelling to go down completely. You're only at day 12" he later added. 

Dr peck gave the green light for me to move on from liquid to soft food. "No steak yet" he mentioned. Hahaha. 

As I was making my way to the bus stop, a really kind auntie stopped by upon seeing how "weak" I was. I was kind of dizzy and was walking at a really slow paced. She noticed me and even offered to walk to me to bus stop. "Make sure you squat down if you're not feeling well", she adviced. How nice of her? We do need more people like her! #FaithInHumanityRestored. 

Anyway dr loh is not in town today, I can only go back tomorrow to get my bracket bonded back together..

Day 11: Bracket Dropped :(

I was practicing smiling and moving my facial muscles again and I realised something....... One of my brackets came loose T_T this explains why my upper teeth moved. Sigh. Thing is, I don't even know when the bracket dropped.

I rly think it's too fast to change 'em wires but looks like I've no choice anymore, right? Oh well. 

-

I was feeling pretty curious about how the surgery was really done so I went on YouTube and typed "lefort 1". To my horror, there were a lot of videos taken and I mean real ones not those animated ones. Years back, while I was considering the surgery I watched the video for only 2 seconds and I brushed the idea away. Hahaha. No that I've completed, *pats shoulder* I am so brave!!! 

1pm

I'm feeling pins and needles around my chin area the whole day. Could be the nerves are regenerating. I have regained 100% of the feelings in my nose, cheeks and the area above the lips. 

I'm left with my bottom left lips and chin area where I still feeling pretty numbed. 

Day 10: Teeth moved.....?

I've finally reached the double digits for recovery and I can say, I've safety passed the most difficult phase of recovery. Kudos to me. Things only get better from here.

Swelling has gone down pretty steadily everyday. I no longer bleed on my right nostril whenever I sit/stand anymore which is great! I can drink like a big girl now. I've moved on from using a syringe to sippy cup to a normal cup. And from baby spoons to adult spoons. Yay. Next transition would be the tooth brush but I know it's not anytime soon since I can barely fit the baby one in my mouth yet. 

I can only still open my mouth a fingertip's size. I think I can do better than this if not for the elastics in my mouth.  

I worked my facial muscles today, tried to smile and twitch it. Feels weird since I'm still pretty numbed. After removing my stitches yesterday, I no longer feel the stings whenever I move or accidentally smile. Hahah. This made me even more curious to explore the inside of my mouth, which I did. I stretched my mouth a little and realised my elastics are strategically placed in a box of square, for both sides. How cute, I'm not sure how this is going to mouth my jaw but oh well. Never doubt the doctors. 

I've also noticed that my upper teeth started to move, in a bad way. I can now spot gaps in between my teeth again. I'm not sure why, but I guess one of the wires came loose? This kinda affected my midline. I can't tell whether they are still in lined or not.

No big deal right? Since my dentist can work with this after he removed the surgical hooks and what not. Gta alert my friendly Dr Peck about this though. I don't want my midline to be off again like pre-surgery. *prays hard*

I am now looking forward to eating human food again. I mean, normal food hehehe. Not like I've been eating dog food or what.... 

Day 9: Stitches Removed! Ouch.

9 am

Not sure if other jaw patients get this but after the surgery, I have been choking on my own saliva or sometimes while I'm drinking for god knows how many times a day. 

12pm

Removed my stitches alrdy... The bottom is bearable, not much pain as my lower gums/jaw are still pretty numbed, I can't feel much. But the top..... Holymuthafuck. I literally sweat on the dentist chair. It hurts so badly especially the front part, below the centre part of the lips. I was surprised there was only minimal bleeding... Which is a good thing, right?

Dr Peck said I can go back to Dr Loh today. And I went "today?!?!?!" "Yes, today" he smirked. Hahaha what the hell. Everything is happening so quickly. I bet I'm gna suffer more pains later...... Normally when I go back for my monthly review I feel pain when he's trying to get to the back brackets. T_T boohoo. 

Dr Peck gave me a box of "goodies" before I left to pass it to Dr Loh. That's my bite before and his hardwork. Look at all the markings + drawings there haha. The box also contained another teeth model + some splints(?) I think that's what you called it. 

4pm

Finally back at aloha dental, visited dr loh. Hahaha I scare myself he didn't change my wires today. He simply took some photos of me. Feeling so loved, the nurses there were so excited to see me. They said I looked different, yes, I agree too. ^^ 

Day 8: I brushed my teeth!!! ^^

1 am

I noticed that the major tongue + jaw + neck tighteness only occur to me in the second half of the day. Usually I'll go to bed feeling like someone is actually strangling me. Any remedy, anyone?

// it suddenly come to my realization that it could be the elastics that are causing all these soreness. But how can two little rubber bands bring one such pains. Is it even possible???

10.56 am

I looked into the mirror and I don't even recognize myself anymore. My features have changed so much. 

Anyway, I've finally finished my anti bionics. I'm so glad because this is one med that will make my gag reflex so baldy. The taste is horrendous. No more pounding and drinking yucky meds. *pats on my shoulder*

I am now back in painkillers while I try to control the number of pills I take. I do not want my body to be immune to this drug so I'll try to avoid it as much as I could. However, the soreness are not giving me any breaks..... 😒

2 pm

I can't stop torturing myself. I've been watching TLC (cooking channel) for so long. I wna eat all the good food. Yums. I'm hungry. 

3.30pm

Omg guess what!!!!! I brushed my teeth, I mean the inner side!! I am so happy I can't stop licking my teeth now. It's finally smooth again! ^^ Imagine not having to brush for so many days, the amount of plague formed up. Ugh, so gross. Before surgery, I'd brush twice, floss my teeth daily and also use the Christmas-tree looking tiny brush to go in between them to keep my oral hygiene. Imagine not having to even brush them for so many days.... It rly irks so badly. 

I tried to fit my baby toothbrush in everyday but to no avail. It wasn't until I forced my mouth open that I finally squeezed it in. After happily cleaning the inside I realised I couldn't pull my toothbrush out. Hahhaha what a joke. I spent about 5 minutes relaxing before trying to force it out. ^^ I can't rly brush the outside yet though, oh the irony. I have elastics strategically placed in my teeth. It's hard to brush them, the last thing I want is to snap them bands. But it's ok, my tongue can reach out to feel them anyway. Hahaha. At least the insides are cleaned. 

Speaking of which, I realised I couldn't feel my gums at all. They are so numbed like as if they were injected anesthesia in preparation for wisdom tooth extraction. Although I can still roughly feel the front/right side of the gums....... A bit.

New milestone everyday. I wonder what's in stall for me tomorrow. ^^

Day 7: First Poop/Worried Sick

I guess I jinxed myself when I said I'm able to sleep a good 6-7 hours straight. I woke up several times last night at 2-3 hours interval again. And despite sleeping in an air-conditioned room for the first time after the surgery, I did not sneezed at all yet. Hehehe I'm so happy, this will not happen during pre-op. Sinus, be gone. Hope I don't jinx myself this time. *fingers crossed*

Major numbness on lower jaw today which extends to the neck area. Can wait for all these to be over.

Anyway, I finally pooped after 10 days. Yes, 10 days. 

WORRIED. I noticed 3 things:

1) right nostril bone(?) is way deeper than the left's. I'm don't know how to explain but try putting your finger in, there's this soft bone thing near the side. Hope after the swelling subsides, it will not cause any unevenness in the size of my nose. My nose has already enlarged from this surgery. 😟

2) lower jaw could be pushed in way too back. I don't know if I'm being paranoid or is it because the swelling has not completely subsided but I feel that I may have lose the shape of my jawline. I'll add in a picture I found on google to better illustrate what I'm trying to say. 

The lady above has an under-developed jaw which causes her to "not have" a neck. While mine isn't that exaggerated. Like I said, I could just be too paranoid, since the swelling hasn't gone down yet. 

This is me, now. Too swollen, I can't stand it. I'm a Simpsons now btw. Look at my neck/chest area. 

3) As I feel my right jawline, I realised it's not "smooth" anymore. There are bumps nearer to the back. What is this. Did they not attach/saw my jaw properly. Or what. 

I need answers. I can't wait for Fridays appointments. On the other hand, I don't want to remove the stitches yet. 

Day 6: Back to Orthodontist

I can finally do a proper update now since I cannot really remember what had happened the past few days.

Went back to my orthodontist today and Dr Peck said that everything is well and we can removed the stitches on Friday. Woah, I'm afraid it'll hurt, but I've been through the worse already, right? My mom exposed me, she told Doc that I'm already having porridge and he said it's too soon I might infect my wound.

Sleeping: 
I finally slept for 6 hours straight. Normally I'll wake up every 2-3 hours because of the discomfort.

Swelling/Bruising:
Swelling hasn't really subsided as compared to yesterday but as expected, yellowness around neck/chest area has started showing up.

Discomfort:
Neck area still feels extremely tight, I can't breathe properly for nuts even though my mucous is almost gone. Bleeding in my nose has almost stopped as well. I just get specks of blood in my mucous but I can forsee it'll be gone in the next few days.

Numbness:
I get random tongue numbness all the time which is so frustrating. As I am typing this I feel like pulling out my tongue. I think if I walk around I'll regain some of the feeling but once I sit down/lie down, it's here again.

Numbness around the face area has subsided quite a bit, although I still cannot feel the bottom left of my face.

Diet:
- Ensure Milk
- Brands Essence
- Porridge
- Mash Potato
- Juices
- Pudding

Day 5: Pushing my Luck

After much rest, I am finally back to updating this space again.

A little disclaimer: this post was written on 10/6/14. I will try as much as possible to recall whatever that has happened. 

hehehe. I ate some porridge today. I couldn't bite so I just swallowed everything. I couldn't help it because this will help to keep my hunger level low..

I have lost a total of 3kg as of today.

I have started to regain more feelings around my upper lip area. I no longer feel weak/depressed.

Bruises are starting to show around my cheek areas. As of today, I skipped taking my pain killers as everything was tolerable. Unless I really need it.

Day 4: Depression

After much rest, I am finally back to updating this space again.

A little disclaimer: this post was written on 10/6/14. I will try as much as possible to recall whatever that has happened. 

Every day was hard for me, I would just cry over the littlest thing. It got me thinking whether I really DID want this surgery so much.

Even my ovary was being a bitch. My period came the day before and at night, I almost fainted in the toilet which I have concluded it is because of the excess blood loss I am experiencing. Imagine: not having enough food/nutrients + period + surgery + wanting to poop. Perfect combination maybe? How not to feel weak.

Neck area feels extremely tight which causes me to have some breathing difficulty.

Day 3: Mashed Potato!!!! ^^

After much rest, I am finally back to updating this space again.

A little disclaimer: this post was written on 10/6/14. I will try as much as possible to recall whatever that has happened. 

Swelling has gone down quite a bit today, yay.

My family bought KFC for dinner and I was so tempted I tried eating the mashed potato and I did it!!! Not a lot, maybe a tablespoon or less. I never liked mashed potatoes but this.... was heavenly. yums. Anything beats ensure milk, right?

Day 2: Discharged

After much rest, I am finally back to updating this space again.

A little disclaimer: this post was written on 10/6/14. I will try as much as possible to recall whatever that has happened. 

I woke up and I totally couldn't feel my jaws at all. For one moment, I thought it dislodged. lol wtf is wrong with me hahaahaha.

Swelling peaks today, thankfully. My face was about to explode, it was sooooo tight. I showered for the first time after the surgery, imagine the grim on me. EW. My blackheads have also doubled in size wtf, it was so gross. So thankful I could shower.

After discharged, went over to National Dental Centre to look for Dr Peck for my review. Dr Peck washed my braces/wound area, took more xrays and explained to me that everything is alright.

HOME SWEET HOME. It feels so good to be home once again.

Drinking constantly still gives me hunger pangs. sigh pie.

Day 1: Yay to Non-Shut Mouth

After much rest, I am finally back to updating this space again.

A little disclaimer: this post was written on 10/6/14. I will try as much as possible to recall whatever that has happened. 

I had my oxygen tube and urinary catheter removed in the morning. It feels weird to have this little thing inside you... it doesn't hurt and when it's gone, it's even more uncomfortable to have to walk to the washroom with so many drips on you.

Then I was pushed down to a clinic to visit one of my surgeon where he removed all the elastics in my mouth, cleaned my mouth and nostrils. He then added 2 elastics, one at each side to aid my jaws to my new bite... He also taught me how to drink through a syringe.... T_T sigh.

Took some xray, everything was alright - as planned.

Today, I felt that my tongue has no space to "roam" around as it could before my surgery. Because my lower jaw now is pushed back, it feels trapped. My nose also bled constantly whenever I sit/stand up.

Day 2 can be concluded with just sleeping and peeing and ice packing all day. Not forgetting the inevitable: swelling, numbness, discomfort, nose bleed, etc.

Day 0: Living Hell

After much rest, I am finally back to updating this space again.

A little disclaimer: this post was written on 10/6/14. I will try as much as possible to recall whatever that has happened. 

I remembered on the day of the surgery, my family came early in the morning. I guess around 6am+ I didn't really have much sleep that night. I used a lot of social media, cried a lot and also tried to sleep with all the moaning and shouting from other patients.... -_____-

So after nurses called me around 0640, I changed into my operation robe, brushed my teeth for the final time and went on to my bed to rest while waiting for the nurse to bring me over to the operating theater. You guessed it, there was a lot of sobbing on my way there and in the OT itself.

I was placed in this induction room alone whereby my friendly anesthetist inserted an IV tube in me. They were really cautious, I think there were around 6 person that asked me the exact following questions: "When was the last time you last ate and drank?" "Did you take any meds/drink anything this morning?" "Any drug allergies?" "Do you know why are you here for?"

Hmm.. So fast forward, the whole operating theater was not what I thought it would be. I guess I watched too many Hong Kong dramas.... hehehe. Anyway, there were a lot of doctors/nurses, if I am not wrong there were at least 10 people in the OT itself. I was then move to the operating table(?), IT WAS REALLY COLD. I only had a really thin piece of cloth over me. I remembered before I was knocked out, both my anesthetist was bickering with each other over which nostril should they insert the windpipe in and 2 of my surgeons were at this corner using their iPad and Phone....

The next thing I knew? A nurse woke me up asking whether I had red marks all over my chest area before the surgery. I was still sedated by the general anesthesia so I shook my head a little and was knocked out once again.

I was pushed out to a High Dependency Ward after my surgery. This is where all the nightmare begins. Holy crap, I would never want to experience this once again in my life. I woke up in tears, numbed all over my face and also blood all over my mouth. The thought of it now makes me sooooo sick, I had to constantly suck out the blood/saliva from my mouth with a suction tube that was provided, because I couldn't really swallow.

And guess what...... I puked blood SO MANY TIMES I LOST COUNT, I believe it was at least 10 times. Imagine having to puke with your mouth shut together with so many rubber bands after your jaw surgery..... *faints*

My "last" puke was a freaking combo of 4. I almost died. Literally. I puked all over me, my hair and the thing is, I feel so bad the nurses on duty that night had to clean me up so many times. I recalled crying and apologizing to them but they told me not to worry it's normal. This is insane.

I was counting down the whole night, I couldn't sleep properly at all. There were just too many tubes all over me and the bloody irritating blood pressure thingy automatically takes my blood pressure every hour. It's so frigging tight that it woke me up every time I try to fall asleep...

Overall:
Everything gets better after the first night. There was a lot of pain, numbness and you'll feel extremely uncomfortable because you wouldn't be able to express what you wna say.... You'll also not be able to breathe properly even with the oxygen tube because there are just way too much mucous and phlegm in your nose/throat. Choking on your saliva also seemed inevitable.

Nurses called me. Shit is getting real. :(

Time Check: Less than 12 hours

My family members just left me for home. I can't help it again, I cried. Wished I was made stronger. Will be in the operating theatre in 9 hours' time. 

Yep. That's where I'll be. Goodnight y'all. Doubt I can sleep anyway. 😟

4D3N chalet? - Admission Day

And the journey begins......

Well. This is my first time blogging on the phone, I'm here resting on my bed after a whole day of waiting. Waited for a whole 2 hours for my bed to be ready. 

And as usual, cried and teared several times again. Why am I so weak 😟

But one thing that pisses me off today is this (new?) doctor was suppose to draw my blood for some testing and he couldn't find my freaking veins. The thing is, he went ahead knowing he'll not succeed. It took him three tries for him to get the needle into the right position. 3 needles just for a small tube of blood. Wtf. 

Sometimes I really wonder what these doctors have been learning in medical school. If simple things like these they can't manage, how can we entrust our lives in their hands. 

Anyway, my surgeons came to visit me earlier on. They are really friendly and nice people. Altogether, I have 3 surgeons operating on me and 2 anaestatists by my side. Hope everything will go smoothly for me. Pray for me. 🙏

Dinner is served. Really bland and tasteless so I went down to get myself a better last meal. 

Fasting starts at 12mn later. No eating and drinking. ☝️

Not that strong afterall

If you asked me two days ago whether I was afraid/nervous for the surgery, I would give a firm answer of NO. I have to admit, it's slowly getting into me now, the fear of not being able to speak well, the fear of not being able to eat properly and the fear of the possible side effects.. I know it is not going to last long but I just can't help it, I over think way too much.

Today was a pretty fruitful day. I went for a lunch buffet, followed by a karaoke session and a bowling session. At night, I met my lovely girlfriends for dinner. 

Ever since last Thursday, I never spent a day not tearing/crying secretly. Initially I thought it was just my hormones being a bitch but I guess it really could be the surgery that is making me anxious. Just today, I broke down out of a sudden during the singing session. In my mind, I kept thinking when would be the next time I can start singing so crazily again. When can I ever speak properly again. 

Feeling pretty down because some people still do not appreciate or understand what I'm going through. It just makes this whole journey harder.. 

"Is this even necessary?"
Why don't you try to be me for just a day? hmm.

That aside, I'm not going to give up just yet because 1 year down the road, I wouldn't even look back on how sad I was today. I would just remember how happy I was with the results.. 

Good luck to those who will be going through the same journey as me. We're all brave warriors, fighting for ourselves. hehe. 

What to prepare for surgery?

I am now 4 DAYS away from my surgery.. I'll be admitted into the hospital one day before so that makes it 3 days to hospitalization. Time really flies. I want to indulge in all the good foods I can before the surgery. I've been eating whatever I want, whenever I want. Got to admit, I've put on some weight already but I'm not afraid since I'll be losing them off after the surgery. The average jaw surgery patient will lose between 3kg to 15kg. *smirks*

I have been doing a little research on what I should prepare for my surgery.. Here's my list:

• Canned Soups
• Juices
• Frozen fruits (to blend)
• Baby Spoons
• Sippy Cup
• Baby Toothbrushes
• Breathe Right Nasal Stripes
• Ice/Heat Pack (for when I'm swollen)
• Neck Pillow
• Oil Blotter
• Cotton Buds/Q-tip (my anesthetist said my nose may bleed when they insert/remove the windpipe T_T) 
• Paper & Pens (need to communicate since I wouldn't be able to move my jaw much; I'll prolly go ahead and get a whiteboard instead)
• Vaseline (Mouth area will be dry and flaky from stretching)
• Wet Napkins/Tissue

I'm not too sure if I've missed out anything, hope I didn't.

I'm thinking of getting a water dental flosser. Something like the famous waterpik but that is definitely out of my budget. After the surgery I'm sure I am unable to open my mouth big enough for the baby toothbrush. I'm still contemplating though.. Hmm.

Bag #2 Down!

Officially cleared my autologous blood donation.. So all I have to do now is.... wait.

I'm now a week's time away from my surgery. I don't feel very nervous or anything YET because I know I'll sleep through everything. So when I'm awake everything will be over. The only thing that is bothering me is that I have to put a windpipe down my nose so it'll aid my breathing when I'm under general anesthesia. I'm just afraid of the removal part since I'll be awake then. Hmm.. 

There's nothing much for me to update for this donation as it is exactly the same as the previous week. The only difference is that the nurse accidentally broke the needle because she was busy chatting with other nurses. So I guess that's the reason why I bled a lil' more as compared to last week.

Not related to my orthognathic journey in anyway;
but I feel extra emotional lately.. So emotional that after the blood donation I walked all the way from outram (SGH) to Bugis. Tearing. I don't know why but I tend to cry a lot easier but most of the time I try to not do it in public. Even the simplest thing is capable of making me tear.. Don't know what has gotten into me. Hope it's the surgery that is making me this way. 

First Bag of Blood..... Cleared.

Hello my fellow jaw patients/earthlings.

I just spent my whole morning in Singapore General Hospital. To summarize, needles, needles and more needles. T_T

On my right arm: I've drawn 2 small tubes of blood for some testing which I am unsure of what they wna test. After which, I went for a Chest Xray. I couldn't figure the link between chest and jaw surgery though, oh well. Just do it.
On my Left arm: Local Anastasia, 4 tubes of blood for some testing as well and a bag of blood.

Xray Gown: Makes me look like a maternity lady

 I then went to donate blood for myself in case anything bad crops up during surgery. *touch wood* I had a local anesthesia before the nurses went on with a huge ass needle. Yes, I am afraid of needles, can you imagine I am actually going under a knife in about 2 weeks. Oh my god.

*Ouch* 'em needles..... T_T

My blood was pretty thick due to the fact that I haven't been drinking enough water. So the nurses had to move the needles around to find the perfect "position" so the blood could flow out at a much faster pace. Not much pain, but just a little discomfort as I could feel the needle in me when she was pushing it up/down/left/right to find the perfect spot.

Opposite my bed was another jaw patient. I was so happy to see her, her surgery is next Wednesday. Exactly a week before mine. I wanted to exchange contact details so we could be recovery buddies but I couldn't move much. Oh well. If anyone of you out there is having your surgery soon, do contact me ok! I'd love to know you.

The nurses there were really nice and funny. They gave me several mini-heart attacks. Omgee. So the Nurse who was attending to me, let's call her Nurse A was shouting, ok not shouting but talking loudly across the room to Nurse B and said something like "Where is the vein that you examined, I couldn't find it". Ok mini heart attack here. The needle is huge, if anything goes wrong, I'll be in great pain. I told Nurse A "Are you sure you can't find it? Should you tightened the strap so you can find it?" "haha I'm just joking around with Nurse B, don't worry" said Nurse A. Hahahah, I heaved a sigh of relieve. I wouldn't want her to "trail and error" her way as I've tried it which a much smaller needle and I can say it's no fun. At all.

After she managed to find my vein, she then said to Nurse C, the one attending to the jaw patient opposite my bed, "I can finish everything faster than you". My eyes literally went from o.o to O.O and I immediately told her there's no hurry in this and she could take her time. "I was just joking around, talking rubbish. Don't panic" says Nurse A.  hahahaha. I'm really timid I know but I don't want unnecessary pain y'know?

My bag of blood: sorry I had to blur most of the information. Nurse B said it's all confidential. I don't wna risk. 

After Nurse A removed the needles and cleaned me up she asked when I would I like to come back for the other bag of blood. My jaw literally dropped. All along I thought I was going to do this only once but it seems like I'm going back next week to repeat the whole process. Minus the Xray. *frowns*

How I feel after everything is over. Left & Right arm poked.

On a side note, my left arm feels swollen and I can feel a slight pain/numb. It almost feels like a muscle ache after you've exercised. However, it's 100% bearable. Just hope it'll heal in time for round 2 on next Thursday.

Why the Surgery?

This is the  number 1 question that people would ask me. I doubt people would even understand unless they are facing this problem themselves.

I've been called "plastic" by one of my close friends already and the thing is, I haven't even gone for my surgery. "I'll call you plastic from now on" wow. that hurts man. I was really mad at first, then sad. I tried to explain but I am not sure if she gets it. Which I highly doubt because she has been blessed with a perfect bite all her life and it's hard for her to understand. 

It's funny how most of the jaw surgery blogs that I visit always have this post/section which states "reasons/why surgery". I FEEL ALL OF YOU. The need to explain, the need for people to understand us. Which they never would. 

Biting

Biting has always been a chore to me. The fact that my teeth don't meet when my mouth is closed means that I can never bite/tear/separate foods with my teeth alone. Not sure whether to blame my upper or lower jaw. Maybe both. 

Imagine: If I can fit a part of my tongue out of my mouth when it's closed, how can I ever possibly bite food off like most of you out there do. T_T

Thankfully, after 20 years of experience in eating I found a way to do it, with the aid of my tongue. I would push my tongue towards my upper teeth in order to bite/tear foods. This method only works on softer foods like noodles, fish, etc. You get what I mean right? This means that I have a higher risk of biting into my tongue which I always do. So what happens after you accidentally bite your tongue? Bleeding occurs, then ulcers. yay.

I tend to avoid tougher foods such as chicken cutlets, steaks, vegetables with stems, etc UNLESS restaurants provide knife for me to cut them into smaller pieces and by knife, I mean good knife unlike what long john silver provides; a plastic knife which I can never cut through its chicken. This leads on to my next point.

Premature Wear

I have always relied on the first pair of molars that meet in my mouth. Speaking of this, I am really sad because after getting my braces on, my teeth started to shift and this pair of molars don't meet anymore. Which means I can no longer rely on them.

The constant pressure & friction causes my tooth to chip

Right now, I am running the risk of chipping my 3rd molar from the back of my upper jaw. I only have 5 pairs of teeth that meet. Picture above was taken when my mouth is closed.

Speech

Like other jaw patients, I'm unable to pronounce sibilants; words that have a hissing sound to it. It's frustrating how people would jokingly correct/correct my mistakes. I guess too much air escapes when I talk. In addition, because of the gap in my mouth, I tend to accidentally spit/drool saliva whenever I'm talking.

Breathing

Not sure whether my small nasal airway is actually linked to this, but I guess it is since the surgery will increase the size of the nasal airway. I've had sinus since I was a young girl, sleeping through the night would be counted as a blessing for me. Most of the nights, I'll wake up wheezing. On average I will use around 10-20 tissues per night just to blow out the mucus in my nasal passage. Thankfully, it's either I have a really bad night or a good night, nothing in between. So on some days, I get to enjoy really good sleep like most of you out there. ^^

Because of my congested nose, I've been using my mouth to breathe which causes me to wake up with a really dry/painful throat. I guess some of you would experience this when you're down with a bad flu. Just that this flu of mine will never recover. 

Bonus: Appearance

Just like people with braces, I just want a nicer smile. For me, it just requires another step for me to have this perfect smile, which is surgery. I've never smiled with teeth in my whole life, and I don't know how to. I have a rather low self-esteem, I tend to not talk to people (a lot) when I've just met them. I'm just afraid people would judge me. If this surgery can fix the problems stated above, and it also comes with aesthetic benefits, why not? It's my life and I live it the way I want to. I'm not here to please anyone of you even if it affects me, somehow. 
It's easier said than done though, of not giving a shit about what others think of me.